Scarf #4

"Indian Sweaters"

Back in the day - you were allowed to call them that :)  Now... 'Cowichan' Sweaters would be more appropriate.  Although... those are supposed to be knit in the Cowichan Valley... and these ones were knit in Burnaby or Delta... 

When mom was little her parents moved around alot...  she was born in Vancouver, but lived in a variety of towns in BC.  Quathiaski Cove was, I believe, one of her favourite places.  Even now, if she is agitated or anxious if you say..   "ahhh Quathiaski Cove... mom, what was it like?"  you can get a smile from her!  It's located on Quadra Island, not that far away really, and I wish that she had taken us there at some point.  Why didn't she?  I guess I'll never have an answer that that one and many other questions.  But she loved it there, and she loves the traces of remembering that she has in her heart still.

So, back to the sweaters.  Mom was an awesome knitter!  She knit many of these sweaters, even a tiny one for her first grandchild Luke (my amazing son - just have to say!)  I have 3 of them here at my house, there are still a couple at Mom and Dad's, Debbie has some for sure... not sure where the others are.  But interesting that Sandy and Donna have both mentioned that mom showed them how to knit them!  They were not easy to knit!  Makes my scarves seem a tad lame.... but such is life.

Wish she were here to teach me her technique now!

Scarf #4 reminds me of these sweaters in it's texture.  That's about the only thing that they have in common!  The sweaters? so detailed and complicated!  the scarf?  so not!

But somehow they go together.  One speaks of how things were, one speaks of how things have become.  Which is which?  Your choice.

  If I'd known this would be the story, would I have treasured her instruction more?  Treasured her more when I had her?  Probably... so what does that teach me now?  

#5

Beach

My mom is a 'beach girl'.  Her grandmother, my great-grandmother was the first person to build on the beach at Boundary Bay way back in the 20's.  We have a history of forward-thinking women in our family ;)!  Grannie started with a tent on the property, then built a house on driftwood foundations.  You work with what you have.   
Every summer from as far back as I can recall...  we would pack up and head to the beach for a month or so...   Dad was a Councellor with VSB, so he had summers off.  Initially there were 3 houses on the property.  Grannie and Papa Siddy's, Uncle Harold's and the 'front camp' - that is where we lived.  2 tiny bedrooms, one just fit a double bed for mom and dad, one just fit 2 campcots with 12 inches or so between them for Debbie and I and that left the couch in the living room for our brother!  We had a toilet, we had running water (but no hot water) and we had a wood burning stove.  We loved it!  Up in the morning, out on the sandbars, laying in the sun as teenagers, collecting bark with Papa Siddy.... clamming, crabbing....  endless hours outside.  SO - MUCH - FUN!  

Mom had fun there too.  Doesn't she look like a happy camper in this picture?  Think one of those guys is "Billy Lively" with her... (but don't quote me... whenever there is a picture at the beach in this time frame - we just say it's probably Billy Lively)!  and that bathing suit... wowza!   she was a hottie yes?  scandalous!   This beach?  mom's happy place as a baby, toddler, youngster (remember using that word?), teen.....  right until her virtual end it was her happy place... and so it remains.  Even now, when I say... 330.   She can usually come back with "Centennial Parkway" !

10 year old Audrey Charlotte Field

And so it has been for our kids... a happy place.  don't know where Laura was in this one.... but LOOK at the sweater that Kieran has on....  ring any bells?  It's his Nana's creation.

look... I found Laura! 

this scarf?  the colour of sandbars, dumb-de-dumbers, and sunshine glistening off the puddles.  Beach.

#6

Gardens.  Flowers.  Veg.  Poppies.

Daisies.  Poppies.  Sunflowers.  Ferns.

Tomatoes.  Serious tomatoes.  like manic tomatoes actually.  This is one plant!  and I planted 6 of them this year...(last year 8 plants yielded 2 handfulls of fruit).

Onions (Walla Walla, purple, green). Pumpkins. Carrots.  Beets.  ... and those flippin poppies are EVERYWHERE!

New garden beds are in at the beach (thanks to Debbie's planning!).  Mom and Dad's beach.  She would be soooo pleased with this!  The idea was that dad would go out in the garden for a couple of hours a day and weed, tweek, thin, water, fertilize (we must discourage fertilizing those tomatoes!)  And he does.... just not for the hours that we had hoped... :)  But, how much fun is it when we visit him and can get into that garden? tons.
On Monday when the fam was together (most of us) to attend the 'tradition'.....

we sat just chairs away from our regular spot... but got the BEST parking spot so that we could wait in the back of the truck while the parade got organized.  so fun!

New Sisters and New Brothers

                                                             

After the parade.. which was one of the best that we had been to btw.  We went back to the beach to have a BBQ.  We walked out on the sand bars, touched the marker, saw a crazy big jelly fish, saw flat fish, watched Smiley swim..  a very entertaining few hours!
Then for dinner...??? we (Tanya mostly) made salad.  100% out of the garden!    lettuce (2 types), carrots, green onions, purple onions, walla walla onions.  picked and plated in 20 minutes.

This scarf was a tricky one for mom.  Feathered yarn (what was I thinking?!)  got a little nasty at moments (just imagine this stuff wrapped around the wheels of her chair....not pretty!)

Happy Anniversary - Scarf #7

Happy Anniversary!

On August 4 2011 Mom and Dad celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary. 

 I found a scrapbook.  Would you believe that all of mom's shower cards are in it?!  yup...  mom is a keeper!  every single shower card.  and, every single wedding card as well.   And announcements!

They were popular teachers!

La-De-Da

years and years of being together.  58 years is a long time.

   This mother of mine was a babe!





Dad graduating from UBC

Years of partying

Years of laughter

Years of anniversaries

Years of travel

Years of growing old together

and now this....  

Dad didn't visit mom on their anniversary this year.  It is.  Just. Too. Hard.  His bride, his everything, his world. 

This is Alzheimer's. 

 Can we find a cure? 

 Please?

Scarf #7 has 2 points.  One for him, one for her

number 8 - lay them straight

simple

easy

basic

fast

everything that makes this scarf just that?

was nothing like the past 2 days have been.

I hate Fraser Health.  There, I have said it. 

I am so very frustrated by incompetence.

Here is the condensed version mom, just so you know where things are at.....

You've been at Riverview for 9 months now receiving your ECT treatments.  They have been brilliant.

so,

time to leave RV (good thing as it is closing!) and head back to Delta View.  We have been waiting 3 months for you to get a consult at Delta Hospital.  You see, you need to continue your ECT as a maintence thing, so you don't go back to screaming "Help Me" for 20 hours a day.  Consult is so that they can "rubber stamp" as we were told, the request for you to have your ECT at Delta Hospital.  But, wait.... ONE man at Delta Hospital (an Internist I belive...  someone possibly named Dr. Shaw (but I have never met him so I can't say for certain - it's just that his name is on the report) says

NO.

 

You apparently are NOT  a good candidate for ECT.  In fact he says...

"I do not think patient is a good candidate to continue further ECT, because of her frail status and signs of ostoporosis and osteoarthritis, which could be a rist factor for a fracture from ECT"  it goes on from there, but I won't bore you mom..   

so, what this ONE person is saying is that all of the medical professionals at RiverView are wrong.  None of them know what they are doing.  Really?  

so, now what?

Let me back up here.. your consult was last Friday August 19th... and that "No" that they gave you? Well, NO one happened to mention it to me until I initiated a call to DV to ask when the ECT would be..  I was just covering my bases mom, just like you taught me.  The Social Worker there was the one to tell me.  Really?  I had seen the Social Worker at RV yesterday morning... it must have slipped her mind.....

well, 10's of emails, 3 faxes, and 20's of phone calls over a 24 hour period has left us still in the dark. 

They are taking you on Monday back to DV.  I'm riding the bus with you though, so we should have fun!  I'll bring you some clothes so you have something to wear...  and maybe a corsage to wear because you will like that.  You will then go to RiverView once a week until Sept 16 for your maintenence ECT.  You know,,, that treatment that will make your Osteoporosis crack you.

Well, damn, if that won't be the end of the world, I don't know what will be! 

Yes mom, sorry, I said damn... and I guess I should also tell you that I said the F word today too...  well, no, I didn't exactly say it...  i flippin SHOUTED it! 

And really, spending 1.5 hours in a transport vehicle each week could be fun!  I hope that they are careful drivers though, because you have osteoporosis mom, and you could break something if they crashed... 

Now.... I've told people that I would not let them take you unless I had it in writing that they will find another place for you to have ECT...  Mom, you know me!  You know that I would lie down in front of that bus! (well I would but I haven't heard back from Global News yet, and if I'm going to lie down in front of a bus over this - it is for sure gonna make the news!)

I have had 3 people in Fraser Health say that they will have a consult arranged before September 16 so that there is no lapse in your maintenance. Mom, guess what?  I will be phoning those people EVERY DAY until that happens.  Don't worry mom, I'll be nice.

And mom, I love you.  I fight these fights because I love you.  I knit these scarves because I honour you. 

I cry these tears because it    JUST    SHOULD   NOT   BE   THIS   HARD. 

 For you, and for us.

 

I know you by heart

Funny thing... at certain moments in our lives time goes by so quickly.  Milestones come and go and we barely have a chance to enjoy our days.  At other times though, the clock seems to stand still.

Sometimes time does both.  At the same time.

When I sit with my mom now, I can't decide if this is her, or who she was.  Does that make sense?  If you have ever had a deep love for someone that is unable to communicate with you, then you understand.  When our babies are hurt, crying, and unable to tell us what is wrong; if you have ever held a friend that is in a coma; if you have ever held a loved one that has dementia; then you understand.

Someone recently asked me,  "Why do you still go to see your mom?  She doesn't even know who you are".   My first response was incredulous "What are you talking about?! I won't stop seeing her!!".

But then I paused to examine why... why do I still go? If she doesn't remember me..... 

My mom doesn't know who I am, but she knows me.  When her eyes look at mine, when she takes my hand and brings it up to her face, when she listens to me.   She doesn't always see me, she doesn't always hear me.  But she knows me.

And I know her.

She is my mom.  Always and Forever.  I love my mom

#9 Fancy

So, everything changes yet nothing changes. Our mom is now back at Delta View in Ladner. She is trekking to RiverView once a week to have her ECT. Apparently after September 16th she'll be trekking to RCH for her ECT. Really? Delta Hospital is a 7 minute trek. Talk to the hand, their faces aren't listening. A sidebar here. I saw a sign. "I wasn't hitting you, I was just high-fiving your face". Delta Hospital person? High 5.

But on the happy side, our Mom really likes her bus/car/ambulance/ just about any form of transportation rides!

She was loving her life in this moment!  Watching cars, people, even commenting on the sunshine ;).  And you must admit, she really does suit that hat!  Don't know who's it is.... but that is one of the perks of living in care.  Daily 'shopping trips'!   And that droopy flower hanging out of her button hole?  That is my version of a corsage ;(   It would have looked a little perkier if I had remembered to take the safety pin to secure it to her blouse.  But if I had done that, she wouldn't have been able to do this:

or this:



She really liked this flower!  And to be honest, it really didn't smell like anything at all.  But for that day, in that moment, this pink carnation rocked her world!
Not nearly as much as these rocked my world a couple of days later...

So happy that Deans Flowers have moved from KGB to a location near Hwy 10 and 152.  Right on the way to moms!  This makes my mom happy (even if she doesn't know it)

Because really, we have 2 choices here.

      #1 - open the door to her room and inhale the smell of poop

      #2 - open the door to her room and smile with the fragrance of lillies



no brainer

scarf #9

And so, this scarf.  Fancy, fun, a real weird one to knit actually.  And guess what?  Mom did not actually knit a row on this one.  wayyyyyyy too hard.  There will be 1 or 2 (3 or 4?) exceptions to the "knit one row" clause. 

 Looked up the word 'exception', and one of the definitions is 'special case'.  For those of you that have had Alzheimer's Disease touch your life, you know that there are no rules with this disease.  There are some things that are fairly standard, but each person exhibits their own version of AD. 

Let's have fewer special cases.  Let's have more research, more discoveries, better treatments, and yes, hope.