Tell a story – tell a HAPPY story!
Our mom Deb bie called her: A force to be reckoned with. I called her: Spicy
Mom loved ice cream, Lawrence Walmsley, cashews, Lawrence Walmsley, Boundary Bay
She also loved peanut butter cookies, free stuff, Magnum PI and Ella Fitzgerald. She loved swimming in the ocean, flowers, laughing, Sears Bargain Center
She loved Liquidation World, Fergus, and breakfast in bed (that dad brought her daily!)
She loved her 3 children and the people that they married. Nana loved her 9 grandchildren. She would have loved the partners that 3 of them have chosen. Great Nana would have loved Rafeeki, and all of the great grandchildren that will follow.
Mom was a brilliant trip planner – and had everything organized and itemized right down to the last detail. – Even got good at putting Vodka into a water bottle to take aboard as carry-on. She for sure was not going to pay what they were charging aboard the ship!
Mom and Dad even took Deb bie and I on a cruise… okay, well actually they got us on to SEE the ship and we had to leave before it sailed… but in her mind I’m sure it counted!
Before cruising got into her system, there was Reno Reno
Mom was a hard worker. Many nights she would be found in the office, working till the wee hours. No one could organize a beer taste test like our mom! And that is not something that everyone can say about their mom!
When mom got an idea in her head – there was no going back. She occasionally made Dad feel that he had a choice – but in reality…. . I really don’t think he minded much. She always had his best interests at heart… and really, who cares if in the end you have 10 Fig trees growing in your yard?
Mom and Dad would spend hours and hours each day, weeding, planting and admiring. Her garden was her delight and something that she passed on to Deb bie in abundance.
Mom’s last 5 years living in care at Delta View and Riverview have been a journey that we all wish she could have avoided. But being that she was on this journey, it was our privilege to walk it with her; and at times FOR her. Her anguish was evident to all, as Dementia tormented her. She had amazing doctors and care workers on her side though and every once in awhile a brief relief was found. We called her doctors “the smart people”, we listened, we questioned and we implemented. We did what she would have wanted us to do.
As anyone that has loved a person with dementia knows – it is a horrible disease. As anyone that knew our mom would know: if you look, one can find humour in a great many situations. Case in point.
One day mom was really upset. She was crying that she couldn’t find her mom.
Jump back a couple of days… while I was helping dad sort out his closet, I noticed 2 small brown boxes in the corner of the top shelf… my “what is that” was soon followed by “ummm WHO is that?”
So, my honest answer to mom on that day when she was so upset? “Mom, I saw your mom just the other day. Tillie Field! She is at the beach. Deb bie is taking care of her”.
Mom had immense relief and thankfulness.
I had a chuckle and thankfulness that Deb bie really was taking care of that!
In the last 7 years, many of our conversations had sentences like:
Mom, how did you do it? Dad just doesn’t listen to us!
You have TEN CHILDREN??? Seriously mom, could I have their numbers, because we should call them to help with this!
No, I am not your sister, I am your daughter – I just look old enough today to be your sister.
I love you I love you I love you
We are grateful to God that He gave us our mom for as long as He did. God numbers our days, and He had a plan for our mom. We are grateful.
