How it all began

In January 2011, I participated in the Walk for Memories .  Just the fact that people were doing SOMETHING to raise money, awareness, emotional support in the fight against Alzheimer's was so very encouraging to me.  So I started thinking (a dangerous part time activity of mine), I could do something, couldn't I?  Something besides living this story... something that might make a small 'drop in the bucket' difference?
You see my mom, Audrey Walmsley was diagnosed with Alzheimers in February of 2007.  She has been living "in care" since July 2007.  I miss her.  Oh, I see her often, but she doesn't see me.  My sister and I have been running at the speed of light since this started.  Doctors, Physio, Psychiatrists, hospitals, ambulance rides... the list goes on and on.  At one point a Social Worker asked me if I was journalling all of this.  My reply to her was "no, don't have time as I'm too busy living this".  So, now is the right time.  Because I've decided to do something.
I have a goal.
I am knitting 25 scarves before the end of this year.
Blue scarves
blue is the colour that the Alzheimer Society uses  = Forget-Me-Not
I am knitting them - but my mom is 'helping'.  She will knit one row on each and every one of them.

And the best part?  At the end of the year I am going to 'sell' each one of them #1-#25.  How much? Each buyer will be asked to make a donation to the Alzeimer Society of BC  in the amount of $100 or more.  I will ensure that $2500+ makes it's way there.
So stay tuned.
25 scarves
25 posts
25 stories
Some will bother you, make you uncomfortable.  Some will scare you.  Some will make you cry. Some (most) will make you laugh.
'cause my momma is a 'spicy momma'!

Scarf #1

Scarf #1

Baby Wool.  Soft. Secure.  When I put the wool in my mom's hands. Give her the needles.  She instictively holds the needles and wraps the wool around her fingers like she always did.  I wish I was the wool.  I wish she knew me like she knows it.  Recognized me like she recognizes it.

Were we able to go back in time to talk about what this looks like today and to be able to ask her what to do. 

January 23 2007 at 12:30pm my mom had her first Doctor's appointment where the focus was on the possibility of Dementia.  We had 'known' for more than 4 years that this day would come.  She sat with my dad and I and answered questions from Dr. G..  all the while differing to us, glancing at us.. hoping that we could answer for her.  At the end of the hour he informed her (and us) that his diagnosis was "mild Alzheimer's Disease".  Bad.

Tears, yelling, she actually pulled some of her hair out.  As we drove home my dad asked me to stop so he could pick something up.  My mom and I sat in the car and cried.  Her biggest concerns?  #1 -"What will happen to your father? who will look after him?" and #2 - "I saw my mother go through this and I know how awful it is".  That day I made a promise to my mother.  I will look after dad. 

The next morning.  Dr. G had written "mild Alzheimer's Disease" on a piece of paper and had given it to mom.  She looked at that piece of paper that she had left on the table and said "Mild Alzheimer's Disease?  What's that about?"  no worries!  The piece of paper dissappeared and we didn't mention it again. 

If you were born in the 30's... if you don't acknowledge something.... it DOESN'T EXIST! 

Why Blog?

Why not just knit? Last month I found myself wandering the streets of Victoria (no jokes ok?! i KNEW where I was!) I had gone into a yarn store there just to see if I could pick up something different and fun in the way of blue yarn. There was the softest and prettiest wools that I had ever seen! I felt as if I was in a 'wool zone' :) There was a lovely cashmere, and when I enquired if they had it in any shades of blue - the lady replied that no, they didn't.... "why blue?" she asked "are you working on a specific thing?"... ummmm yes.

 "What is it?" now another customer was in on the discussion (it's Victoria people...  they are soooo friendly!)   I talked.  They listened.  They were moved.

"You should blog this - no really you NEED to blog this!"...  hmmmm   "You'll raise more $ in donations"... ok you got me. 

so, thankyou to the sales clerk who helped me pick out a perfect pattern

(she obviously thought I knew how to knit!) and cotton to make it up with.  this scarf will probably end up being #25 because it will take me until December to figure it out!
 Thankyou to her for going into their store room to find 'ends' of blue yarn 
This random collection of yarn will be put together into one scarf...

If you're in Victoria and want to see beautiful yarn check out Button & Needlework Boutique.  If you like this blog... you can thank them.  If you don't... you can blame them ;) !!

scarf #2

I'm not gonna lie.... sometimes it's hard to keep a straight face.. but she usually calls me out if she thinks that I am laughing at her.  She gave an 'oh my!' when I handed her this one... soooo soft, just makes you happy holding onto it!  There was a little stress for her when she first started to knit both at once,, and then again when she was thinking that the needles go end-to-end.  But after all that, she was a star!

away she goes! This day was a 'good day'..   so nice that we can say that!  For the last 8 months of 2010 we would call these days "as good as it gets" or more frequently a "less than horrible day".  Mom was on the 'wait list' to get into Riverview Hospital. Finally we got the call that there was a bed for her.  She arrived there December 22nd 2010.  It was NOT a "good day".  Debbie and I sat with her for the better part of 6 hours as she screamed, cried, (ok.. remember at the beginning of this blog I said that some things would be hard to hear!)  threw her food and hung onto the door jam with all her might.  I read a book.  Seriously! you have to identify when there are things that will make a difference and when you can do something as opposed to just 'being there'!  All in all though - it was good that it was not a good day.  They got to see her torment, her anguish.  Alzheimer's had introduced dark depression into my mother's head.  Dark.  Very Dark.  Why Riverview?  ECT.  yup that's right 'shock therapy'.  Magic.  Pure Magic!  By the second treatment... her face looked physically different!  brighter, lighter..  At this writing, she is still at Riverview.  Now? waiting to get back to Deltaview!  You see; if you have Alzheimers, you have to be very patient!
You may have heard that they are closing Riverview.  In my view, the best facility out there.  But the buildings are old, and the property is valuable.  The gardens there are amazing.  Acres and Acres.  If you really like it, you can live there soon! Because of course, housing is so much more important than health care.

The staff there are gifted.  Caring.  For the most part, sad that it is closing.  Mom's social worker there: compassionate.  Her GP: so moved when he saw the changes after treatment.  They are good.  For the time being they shall be nameless, but when mom gets outta there... there might be a few stories!  Just sayin...

Sister Scarf #3

Sister.   Deborah Roberta Walmsley (sorry about that middle name of yours!)  Deborah Roberta Meehan.    Daughter.  First Born of Audrey and Lawrie Walmsley.

This one is for you

For all of the trials (and laughter!) of this journey for mom, you have been at my side.  Sometimes you have been behind me, pushing me forward.  Lots of times you have been in front of me, leading the way.  I could not do what I do for mom without you.   Mom loves you. 



She loves the fact that you are a teacher, just like she was.  You have followed in her footsteps in the garden as well.  As Shirley Rush said.."It's just like the garden of Eden!"  Just like mom, you know the names of your plants (Their PLANT names.... I'm not implying that you actually 'name' your plants!... that would really be weird!) and like her, some of them carry memories....  the Astilbe that mom gave you...  The fact that you get so much enjoyment out of being in the dirt (mental image)... makes your mom smile.  The fact that you still tend her garden for her....  - that one is really hard.... it's like we're waiting for her to come back and say "WOW"!  But she is grateful to you for that.   So, when I handed her this scarf, and told her it was for you... guess what she said?   No, not "who?"!  she said "WOW"

Cool eh?!

so, Happy Birthday sister.  I love you.  more than you know.   Mom loves you, as much as you know.

Scarf #4

"Indian Sweaters"

Back in the day - you were allowed to call them that :)  Now... 'Cowichan' Sweaters would be more appropriate.  Although... those are supposed to be knit in the Cowichan Valley... and these ones were knit in Burnaby or Delta... 

When mom was little her parents moved around alot...  she was born in Vancouver, but lived in a variety of towns in BC.  Quathiaski Cove was, I believe, one of her favourite places.  Even now, if she is agitated or anxious if you say..   "ahhh Quathiaski Cove... mom, what was it like?"  you can get a smile from her!  It's located on Quadra Island, not that far away really, and I wish that she had taken us there at some point.  Why didn't she?  I guess I'll never have an answer that that one and many other questions.  But she loved it there, and she loves the traces of remembering that she has in her heart still.

So, back to the sweaters.  Mom was an awesome knitter!  She knit many of these sweaters, even a tiny one for her first grandchild Luke (my amazing son - just have to say!)  I have 3 of them here at my house, there are still a couple at Mom and Dad's, Debbie has some for sure... not sure where the others are.  But interesting that Sandy and Donna have both mentioned that mom showed them how to knit them!  They were not easy to knit!  Makes my scarves seem a tad lame.... but such is life.

Wish she were here to teach me her technique now!

Scarf #4 reminds me of these sweaters in it's texture.  That's about the only thing that they have in common!  The sweaters? so detailed and complicated!  the scarf?  so not!

But somehow they go together.  One speaks of how things were, one speaks of how things have become.  Which is which?  Your choice.

  If I'd known this would be the story, would I have treasured her instruction more?  Treasured her more when I had her?  Probably... so what does that teach me now?  

#5

Beach

My mom is a 'beach girl'.  Her grandmother, my great-grandmother was the first person to build on the beach at Boundary Bay way back in the 20's.  We have a history of forward-thinking women in our family ;)!  Grannie started with a tent on the property, then built a house on driftwood foundations.  You work with what you have.   
Every summer from as far back as I can recall...  we would pack up and head to the beach for a month or so...   Dad was a Councellor with VSB, so he had summers off.  Initially there were 3 houses on the property.  Grannie and Papa Siddy's, Uncle Harold's and the 'front camp' - that is where we lived.  2 tiny bedrooms, one just fit a double bed for mom and dad, one just fit 2 campcots with 12 inches or so between them for Debbie and I and that left the couch in the living room for our brother!  We had a toilet, we had running water (but no hot water) and we had a wood burning stove.  We loved it!  Up in the morning, out on the sandbars, laying in the sun as teenagers, collecting bark with Papa Siddy.... clamming, crabbing....  endless hours outside.  SO - MUCH - FUN!  

Mom had fun there too.  Doesn't she look like a happy camper in this picture?  Think one of those guys is "Billy Lively" with her... (but don't quote me... whenever there is a picture at the beach in this time frame - we just say it's probably Billy Lively)!  and that bathing suit... wowza!   she was a hottie yes?  scandalous!   This beach?  mom's happy place as a baby, toddler, youngster (remember using that word?), teen.....  right until her virtual end it was her happy place... and so it remains.  Even now, when I say... 330.   She can usually come back with "Centennial Parkway" !

10 year old Audrey Charlotte Field

And so it has been for our kids... a happy place.  don't know where Laura was in this one.... but LOOK at the sweater that Kieran has on....  ring any bells?  It's his Nana's creation.

look... I found Laura! 

this scarf?  the colour of sandbars, dumb-de-dumbers, and sunshine glistening off the puddles.  Beach.

#6

Gardens.  Flowers.  Veg.  Poppies.

Daisies.  Poppies.  Sunflowers.  Ferns.

Tomatoes.  Serious tomatoes.  like manic tomatoes actually.  This is one plant!  and I planted 6 of them this year...(last year 8 plants yielded 2 handfulls of fruit).

Onions (Walla Walla, purple, green). Pumpkins. Carrots.  Beets.  ... and those flippin poppies are EVERYWHERE!

New garden beds are in at the beach (thanks to Debbie's planning!).  Mom and Dad's beach.  She would be soooo pleased with this!  The idea was that dad would go out in the garden for a couple of hours a day and weed, tweek, thin, water, fertilize (we must discourage fertilizing those tomatoes!)  And he does.... just not for the hours that we had hoped... :)  But, how much fun is it when we visit him and can get into that garden? tons.
On Monday when the fam was together (most of us) to attend the 'tradition'.....

we sat just chairs away from our regular spot... but got the BEST parking spot so that we could wait in the back of the truck while the parade got organized.  so fun!

New Sisters and New Brothers

                                                             

After the parade.. which was one of the best that we had been to btw.  We went back to the beach to have a BBQ.  We walked out on the sand bars, touched the marker, saw a crazy big jelly fish, saw flat fish, watched Smiley swim..  a very entertaining few hours!
Then for dinner...??? we (Tanya mostly) made salad.  100% out of the garden!    lettuce (2 types), carrots, green onions, purple onions, walla walla onions.  picked and plated in 20 minutes.

This scarf was a tricky one for mom.  Feathered yarn (what was I thinking?!)  got a little nasty at moments (just imagine this stuff wrapped around the wheels of her chair....not pretty!)

Happy Anniversary - Scarf #7

Happy Anniversary!

On August 4 2011 Mom and Dad celebrated their 58th wedding anniversary. 

 I found a scrapbook.  Would you believe that all of mom's shower cards are in it?!  yup...  mom is a keeper!  every single shower card.  and, every single wedding card as well.   And announcements!

They were popular teachers!

La-De-Da

years and years of being together.  58 years is a long time.

   This mother of mine was a babe!





Dad graduating from UBC

Years of partying

Years of laughter

Years of anniversaries

Years of travel

Years of growing old together

and now this....  

Dad didn't visit mom on their anniversary this year.  It is.  Just. Too. Hard.  His bride, his everything, his world. 

This is Alzheimer's. 

 Can we find a cure? 

 Please?

Scarf #7 has 2 points.  One for him, one for her